1st day in 2012, this is my confession

"Every new day is another chance to change your life"

 
Happy New Year 2012 reader :) 
be a better, wiser, nicer (including prettier and smarter) person for me and you :) 

tahun baru ini ditandai dengan bad feeling malem-malem :( well, death is unpredictable thing. I think that death is so scary, but losing someone that we love so much because of death is just scarier :'( i cant even imagine that and i hope it will never happen to my family and my friend. oh yes, i'm selfish.

Kenapa tiba-tiba takut kehilangan gini ? bulan akhir november 2011 kemaren, temen gue kehilangan bokapnya. ceritanya bokapnya lagi kerja di luar negeri, meninggalnya karena stroke :'(  and when I was in his house, he seem so tough, no tears, still smirking and asked us what happen in campus. tapi suasana mulai mengharu pas nyokapnya dapet telepon kalo alm. bokapnya nyampe palembang paling cepet seminggu dan paling lama sebulan. you know his feeling right ? bahkan gue ga bisa ngebayanginnya. dan ujung-ujungnya, niat gue dan para bitterweet yang awalnya pengen ngehibur malah jadi ngehabisin tisu. 

So for me, i just can imagine that kind of things happen to me. Please god, not now :[ I'm not already for it. Please give me a lot of time to bring happiness to them, to spend the happiness together :') when i was a child, i'm not a good child, on my diary, i even wrote that i dont want this kind of mom, i want a

psychologist mom, dan nyokap baca tulisan gue. Sumpah, gue bener-bener ga mikirin perasaan nyokap pas nulis gituan :'( gue merasa bersalah banget ya allah :'( dan sekarang, ketika gue sibuk kuliah, kadang gue ga punya waktu buat cuci motor karena tingkat kemalasan gue yang tinggi, dan.. bokap yang nyuciin :'( terus, karena jarak kampus-rumah hampir 45 menitan (kalo macet) kadang gue musti pergi satu jam dari rumah,  alhasil, ninggalin kamar yang berantakan, dan.. nyokap yang ngerapiin kamar :'( adek gue yang selalu ada pas gue butuhin, yang selalu muji gue, meski gue bukan kakak yang baik bagi dia :'( mas gue yang care banget sama gue, yang selalu ngehargain pendapat gue :'( dan temen-temen gue bittersweet yang selalu bikin hari gue bewarna, ngebawa tawa setiap hari.. apa jadinya gue tanpa mereka :'( *hapus air mata*

Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time
it tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.